I want to be consistent across the board. If all of Christ is for all of life, I want to see Christ glorified in every realm of my life.  Because of that, I have thought a lot about how the way we eat and care for our bodies fits in with the gospel of Christ.  In other words, I have tried to answer the question, “Why is this even important?”  Our decisions regarding health and nutrition (of which you’ll soon learn a lot about if you keep visiting me here!) all stem from the following convictions that we (Blane and I) share:

1. We should seek to nourish our bodies and do what we can to keep them running optimally.  We do this not for the end goal of health alone but to be strong enough to share the gospel and serve others for as long as God has us living on this earth.  We also believe that we should seek to nourish our children’s bodies so that they can seek to accomplish the same things (Acts 20:24).

2. We believe that we don’t own ourselves but that our bodies are temples where the Holy Spirit dwells (1 Corinthians 6:19-20).  Therefore, we can’t do whatever we want with them.  Instead, we are stewards who should be faithful and responsible for what has been entrusted to us.  We consider it a moral obligation to do the best we can with all that has been given us, including our bodies and our children’s bodies (until they are responsible for themselves).  Everyone will one day be held accountable (Romans 14:11-12).

3. If we have been given knowledge about something and its detrimental effects on us, we believe we will be held accountable for how we respond to that knowledge (Luke 12:48).  We do not desire to continue living in a manner that indulges our fleshly desires or caters to a fear of man (Proverbs 29:25, Isaiah 51:7) with no thought to the physical or spiritual ramifications.  Again, we believe that accountability is individual (Romans 14:11-12).

4. It is very important not to make an idol out of health and nutrition or elevate it to a consuming status in our life (Exodus 20:3).  Circumstances often dictate food choices, and there are few absolutes.  If I found myself in a situation where I had nothing else, I would be thankful for cockroaches to feed my family.  It is absolutely true as well that all men are appointed once to die (Hebrews 9:27).  God is still sovereign (Psalms 135:6).  It is impossible to force his hand or make him grant you a long, healthy life, no matter how well you eat.  We aren’t in ultimate control.  That’s why the gospel is central, not food (Romans 1:16-17).  It’s appointed once for everyone to die, and THEN eternal life ensues.  Our primary and most pressing focus should be on our souls’ health.  Earthly health only matters to the degree that it facilitates Kingdom work.

5. We seek to be charitable toward others.  Indeed, pride is always to be abhorred.  We recognize the urgent need for humility, especially when it is possible that we are the ones who lack faith (Romans 14:1-10).  Ultimately, it is each individual person’s responsibility to live the way they do out of faith, and we pray that we are not a stumbling block for others (Romans 14:20-23).  If someone has us in their home for a meal, we graciously enjoy what is served to us (Romans 14:19-20).  We also do not look down on others for choosing differently than we do (Romans 14:13-14).

“For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.   Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men.  So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.”  Romans 14: 17-19

Is this an area of life that you have thought about?  What principles guide your decision-making when it comes to lifestyle and food?

The post Why Do You Do What You Do appeared first on My Blog.

I wonder how often you’ve experienced a strong emotion rise up in you, compelling you to speak out about something you’ve just heard or read?

Something has been said (or written) that just gets to us, and we feel that we must say something about it. Now.

Yes, something wrong or off may have been said. Maybe it was something deeply hurtful that never should have been said in the first place. Or something nuanced that needed deeper explanation. But it’s also quite possible that we just misunderstood the person.

So, we blurt something out or leave a comment.

Often the fruit of such hasty, haphazard words are like sword thrusts. We weaponize our words out of hurt, offense, or pride, and they end up hurting other people.

On a regular basis, I’m seeing these types of reactive responses online. Commentary is posted, and the responses often take minutes (or less) to start showing up.

Quick replies are easy to post, and the weaponized, emotional words are often evidently lacking in authorial self-control.

Soon, snark abounds, zingers fly, the Caps Lock key gets pressed, and the melee commences in earnest as social media adepts spread the barbs to countless ready-to-be-offended parties who are all looking to take sides and verbally slash the other team.

As Christians, how do we navigate situations like this? How do we engage social media and real-life conversations without knee-jerk reactions to provoking words?

Look to the Word

Not surprisingly, the Lord has a few things to say to us about situations like this. Just because social media is new doesn’t mean that issues of the heart are new. We should apply the same wisdom that we do to interpersonal relationships.

When we’re provoked, in that moment of self- righteous passion rising up inside, we’re not fit to speak.

Here’s how I know:

“Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.”

(Pr. 29:20)

 “Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.”

(Pr. 14:29)

A temper refers to the constitution of our mind, particularly as it relates to our passions and affections.

So, in those moments after hearing or reading something, what is the constitution of your mind? Are you provoked to anger, offense, or hurt?

If so, it’s highly likely that your words and mine will be like swords, and that folly will be demonstrated if we respond right then.

If we react, we should not act surprised when we experience regret, or when we hurt someone, or cause confusion.

God has given us emotions for His glory and as a means to accomplish various purposes under the banner of His glory. One purpose of our emotions is to act as a warning light that something is off either inside of us our outside of us. So, we should pay attention. We would be *wise* to pay attention.

“Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”

Pr. 4:23

When we obey the Lord and pay attention to what is happening in our heart, we can wisely slow down and go before Him to assess the situation. And as we do, He’ll help us see what’s in our heart, about to flow out.

Helpful questions to ask with Him can include:

• why am I responding this way (angry/hurt/sad, etc.)?
• did those words touch a wound that has not yet been healed by You?
• why do I want to respond to what was said/written?
• do I even need to respond to what was said?

In my interpersonal relationships, I’ve found that taking time to sit before the Lord with His word open is both necessary and valuable. In fact, I believed it’s saved many a heartache and regret. There have been times when, in this process, the Lord has convicted me of pride or self-righteousness. Or, He’s helped me to see that I simply wasn’t seeing the whole situation. He’s also helped me to understand that part of why He allowed me to hear the words were to pray for the other person.

There are times when I indeed am responding with righteous anger. But you see, sometimes, without taking the time to slow down and flesh it out before the Lord, I’m not sure.

You should know that I’m extremely sensitive. I’m not sharing this with you as one who doesn’t know first-hand how easy it is to have a knee-jerk reaction and want to speak right away. Nor am I speaking as one who has mastered this! But I’m speaking out of a place in which I’ve persistently sought the fruit of  self-control. And, I’ve not done it alone. I’ve been helped many times by the Holy Spirit, my husband, and trusted friends and counselors

As you engage in conversation with the Lord about how you participate online, He’ll be faithful to direct your steps! For the what it’s worth department, when I’m working through something in real life, my general rule of thumb is to take at least a week to pray through a situation. Ps 139, Ps 51, and Ps 37 are great places to begin to invite the Lord into the situation.

After the week is up, sometimes I find that I need to continue in prayer because I’m unsure of what to do. Or, I may still feel the need to say something. But, because of intensive time with the Lord about the matter, there’s much more humility, gentleness, and care involved.

But as I eluded to above, there are times that I don’t end up saying anything at all. The timing isn’t right, the Lord wants me to pray for the person, or the Lord needs to do some deeper work in my own heart.

Making this a practice in the sphere of interpersonal relationships in everyday life should spill over into the sphere of online relationships.

Keeping Our Hearts

Whether it’s online or in interpersonal relationships, you and I have a responsibility to keep our hearts, to be careful with our words, and to give *grace* to those who hear us speak. I’m concerned that with the distance screens gives us from each other, we don’t exercise the same sort of self-control that we do when we’re in person.

Whether we’re in a conversation with a friend or a family member, or online, we have the choice to navigate difficult conversations in a manner that is pleasing to the Lord. We don’t have to react. We don’t have to pound the keys, sending swords thrusts into the internet.

Yes, in many ways, social media is very “right now.” If you exercise self-control in the moment and don’t comment or post, but go to the Lord about it, it’s likely you’ll never go back to the thing that provoked you in the first place. Is that so bad?

I’m reminded of Proverbs 14:33,

“Wisdom rests in the heart of a man of understanding,

but it makes itself known even in the midst of fools.”

A wise person can rest. A wise person slows down to assess her heart, and can move past those things that might be a bit like a clanging symbol or sword thrusts to her own heart. She also recognizes that haste doesn’t usually lead to anything productive. She can always go back to the person later.

In the online world, words are often flung faster than we can read them. I think we’d be wise to consider what things we should read, experience a moment of grief over, and just keep moving past. Pay attention to if it nags at you, and ask the Lord for His input.

May the Lord help us to slow down so that in “whatever [we] do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him” (Col. 3:17).

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“He takes a typical Christian woman, simply plodding along in seasons that span decades, and bit by bit he transforms her into something as atypical as they come. He makes her his — “from one degree of glory to another” (2 Corinthians 3:18). She barely notices the changes in herself — being so in the habit of looking to Christ instead.”

—>check out Abigail’s new book, (A)Typical Woman: Free, Whole, and Called in Christ. It’s fantastic!

Thoughts on Why Megachurch Pastors Keep Falling –

“It’s way too easy for your platform to outgrow your character. And that’s where all the danger lies.”

“Add to it one more fact: you and I are not naturally made to lead thousands or millions.”

“It doesn’t mean you can’t do it. It just means you’ll have to grow your character faster. Much faster.”

“You don’t have a ministry, but God does (and out of his grace he chooses to use you).”

“Platforms are designed to be shared and used for the benefit of others.”

“What you really need is people who have influence with you and power over you who can speak into you. Like a board and an inner circle to whom you are transparent and to whom you are truly accountable.”

“I need to become an expert at noticing the little compromises. I don’t have to confess them to my whole team, but I need to confess to someone. Bringing them into the light when they’re small prevents them from growing into something sinister.”

What Is a Biblical Counselor? –

“Is the counselor anchored to the Word? Are they attune to the Holy Spirit and yielded to the Father? Do they live with biblical perspective? Has their own life been one of humble alignment to the Scripture? Is their commitment in counseling an avenue to love God and others? Have they been open to correction or receptive to their views being challenged? Can they discerningly engage resources, tools, methods of care in a way that aligns with Scripture?”

The post Resource Roundup – 2/22/19 appeared first on My Blog.

How seared is our nation’s conscience that she tolerates this cruelty? – “If you have been paying attention to the abortion debate in America at all, none of this will be surprising to you. The pro-choice position excludes the unborn from the human community. It gives no consideration at all to the human life that is growing inside a mother’s womb. It says that a woman’s so-called “right to choose” trumps the right of another person not to be killed. That is the pro-choice position. It is no surprise that we now have a governor who is saying that a fully delivered baby’s life is disposable and subject to a woman’s “right to choose” as well.”

Would you consider prayerfully reading and agreeing with this important article?  A Prayer for Govenor Andrew Cuomo

Should I Be Building My Own Platform? -“What if the disciples worried about building platforms the way we do? What if they said, “But Jesus, we’re just fishermen and tax collectors with limited influence. How will we ever shine bright enough for the whole world to see?”

This almost seems laughable from our perspective, for what better platform to be able to say, “I was chosen by Jesus for a three-year internship”? These guys needed only to step onto their God-given platforms with their God-given understanding and shine!”

The Character of the Christian: A One-Woman Man – Tim Challies linked to his article from a few years ago. Don’t be fooled by the title, this is an article for both men and women. It served me, and I hope it will serve you, too!

“Just as an elder is to be an example of sexual integrity, so the call goes out to all Christians to “abstain from sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3). This is true whether the Christian is married or single, male or female. Paul commands the whole congregation in Corinth to “flee from sexual immorality” and warns “every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).”

A Self-Denial Comeback? – “Self-denial is difficult, requiring not only strenuous discipline but also courageous counterculturalism. It means ignoring the chanting voices telling us we don’t have enough. It means refusing to believe the next thing will make us happy when we know it will make us hollow. It calls for letting go of the rush of acquisition, the fleeting pleasure of possession. And it requires us to risk looking like plain old, everyday, ordinary people in a world where image is everything.”

Follow me on Instagram for my top podcasts for the week!

The post Resource Roundup – 2/1/19 appeared first on My Blog.

WALSH: You Can’t Give A Lethal Injection To Criminals In New York But You Can Give It To Infants – “Speaking of lethal injection, in case you haven’t yet grasped how twisted this law is, consider that capital punishment has been ruled unconstitutional in New York. You are not allowed to give a lethal injection to convicted serial killers, pedophiles, rapists, school shooters, or any other species of monster. But you can give a lethal injection to an infant. Indeed, you can only give lethal injections to infants in New York. The crime of child rape will not earn you the needle. The crime of being conceived in the wrong womb might. It is a capital offense, and you may well be made to suffer dearly for it.”

Your Obedience in Christ Means War – “Jesus loves you, which is why he would kill that part of you that loves sin. If we want to live well, we must learn to die in him. Your identity in Christ is what gives you the courage, the ability, and the desire to do this. In Christ, your sin cannot rule over you. In Christ, you do not want it to. In Christ, we have the strength to fight it. And in Christ, we will ultimately have the victory.”

Cultivating Self-Control – “Yet the Apostle Peter exhorts us to godly effort even as the Spirit is working. “For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness” (2 Peter 1:5–6). Lack of self-control leads to ineffectiveness and lack of fruitfulness, Peter says. Even worse, it may lead to our destruction. Remember Achan’s craving for the devoted things in Joshua 7? In stark disobedience to the Lord’s command, he coveted the beautiful cloak, two hundred shekels of silver, and a gold bar of fifty shekels, and he seized them against the Lord’s clear command. His lack of self-control proved devastating to himself and his entire family.”

Important books to read to your kids-

Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr.: A Simple Plan to Protect Young Minds – In our morally depraved culture, children are seeing pornography at younger ages than ever, and sometimes, quite by accident. If you have a phone, tv, computer, ipad, etc., they have access. Please steward their eyes, minds, and hearts well with this fantastic resource. This book is for ages 3-6.

Good Pictures, Bad Pictures: Porn Proofing Today’s Young Kids – This is an excellent book for the older kids. It explains what porn is, happens when they see it, and a plan of action for when they are exposed to it. At some point your children WILL be exposed–please inform and equip them beforehand.

The post Resource Roundup – 1/25/19 appeared first on My Blog.

First of all, please notice that I used the word “tool” when describing personality tests. A tool is something that helps us get a job done. When we’re finished with it, we put it away, and often don’t think about it until it’s needed again. It would be a little strange if I walked around thinking about my hammer all the time, don’t you think?

The greatest resource we have in learning about ourselves and how to love others is the Bible, and it should be what undergirds and shapes our way of thinking and living, and what we meditate on. Our study of people should start there. But I would argue that scouring the Bible for how to love others isn’t enough. If love were simply a checklist, it would be. But love requires power that we don’t possess in and of ourselves (John 5:39-40). Paul describes what love is in 1 Corinthians 13. It’s a popular passage that most everyone knows, Christian or otherwise. It sounds pretty, but the reality is that we cannot truly love without Christ living in us, because the love He calls us to is radically other-worldly. It takes His resurrection power (Eph. 1:19-21) because what is required first of us is death to ourselves.

We must know Jesus, personally. We must be engaged in ongoing relationship with Him, learning about Him and learning from Him. As we grow in love for Him, and grow in our ability to receive love from Him, we will grow in our ability to love others.

When asked what the greatest commandment is, “Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:29-31).

It’s interesting that he answered with the first two commandments, rather than just the first, don’t you think? Significant enough to give pause—we must love Him, first. Out of the overflow of our love for Him and His love for us, can we then love others.

But, the Lord has also bestowed grace to men and women who have spent their lives studying people, and I don’t think it’s worthless. In fact, I think it’s very much like God to take the time to understand people. He’s relational and holds all understanding about people. It’s no surprise then, that those who don’t know the Lord would be fascinated by learning about people. It’s His imprint on their heart.

So, I think the personality tests that have been developed out of years of study can be very helpful tools as we seek to love others. There are indeed relational difficulties that we all encounter, and indeed skills to be learned to better relate to others. So, taking the time to understand how and why others function as they do can prove helpful. But, discernment needs to be exercised, and the language around personality tests should be held up to Scripture.

Whether we do so intentionally or not, we tend to function out of our own experiences, and we project our personal life experiences onto others. Without careful thought, this can lead to false assumptions about people, misunderstanding, and therefore, saying or doing hurtful things to people.

In my limited experience, it seems that people often spend little time doing internal heart work. We don’t know ourselves– how our family of origin affects us, what our weaknesses or blind spots are, what our tendencies are in stress, etc. All of these things affect how we relate to others. So, while a personality test won’t take us too far into the depths of the heart that I think we need to plunge, it can be a helpful start. And while many tests will list “weaknesses,” I would tend to use the word “sin.” I think when using the tests, we need to be careful not to fall into worldly thinking, but instead align with what Scripture says. For example, pride is never described as a weakness in Scripture, but as sin. Remember, the tests are a tool, secondary to Scripture.

I think personality tests can prove helpful in relationships with others, not only because knowing how we function affects how we relate, but because often times there’s at least one person in our life that we just don’t “get.” It’s easy to assume something is wrong with them. In reality, each of us has been wired differently by the Lord. We process feelings and information differently. When you talk to some friends, you might interpret what they’re sharing as a crisis in their life, when really, they are deep feelers about just about everything. We are more or less affectionate—and it’s not always because we came from a healthy or unhealthy family. Some of us are naturally more or less spontaneous—and it’s not necessarily because one is more or less responsible. It’s easy to make assumptions based on how we function, and often times, our assumptions can be flat out wrong. Or, it can be easy to not enter into another person’s world because we just don’t understand them.

I’ve been both the recipient and the doler of misunderstanding, false assumptions, and hurtful ways of relating. It grieves me to think of how I’ve been hurtful because, in my limited understanding, I thought I had a person figured out or knew what was best in their situation. I also know how deeply hurtful it can be to be on the receiving end.

Therefore, I think that in order to best love others, we should take the time to understand people. Personality tests can serve as a tool to understand people and learn how to love them better—but I would argue they can be a springboard, not the pool where we swim forever, nor should they be the foundation for how we understand ourselves or other people. Wisdom comes from the Word of God, and when we take the time to first know the Lord and His Word intimately, we’ll have supple hearts, attuned to others around us. When we take time to get to know a person, our understanding and ability to relate to him or her will have even greater depth than what a personality test alone has to offer. There’s no substitute for relationship. And relationship involves time, good questions to ask, and good listening skills.  All of these skills can be honed in your relationship with the Lord. As He relates to you, and you to Him, you will be renewed and transformed (Romans 12:2, 2 Cor. 3:18), and equipped to love others well. It’s the first commandment in action—and the second commandment will supernaturally follow.

One last thing. Jesus is the only perfect person, and any positive personality trait that we have is a reflection of who He is. This is incredible—we truly are made in His image! So I think we can marvel at who He is as we study people. I also think it can serve as a help to our heart to appreciate who He is in those He has put in our life (Psalm 16:4, Psalm 149:4a). It can serve as a tool to help us specifically encourage others in how they are like the Lord. The fact that He has stamped each one of us with His image is praiseworthy, and so is the fact that He has none of the deficits we all do.

So, take personality tests and have fun with them! But remember that the Lord is the One who has the greatest understanding about people, and He loves to give us knowledge and insight through His Word and personal relationship as we pray for and fellowship with those he has placed in our lives.

[1] https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/the-faqs-what-christians-should-know-about-the-enneagram/

[2] https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/blogs/kevin-deyoung/enneagram-road-back-somewhere-else/

*Unbeknownst to me, while I worked on this article, the following blog post and podcast episode were published, which I recommend:

https://chuckdegroat.net/2018/08/09/a-response-to-joe-carters-tgc-blog-the-faqs-what-christians-should-know-about-the-enneagram/

Truth in Love Podcast, episode 168

The post Personality Tests: Help or Hindrance? appeared first on My Blog.

I’m a bit of a resource geek. I want to be a lifelong learner, one who sets her face toward wisdom (Pr. 17:24), listens to wisdom (Pr. 13:14), increases in wisdom (Pr. 9:9), and much more! And, as each of these Proverbs suggest, a primary source for growing is through listening to wise people, both near and far. The internet has made a way to learn from believers all across the world.  And while I don’t believe they should take the place of the local church and real life relationships, I’m so grateful for the wealth of solid, Biblical people just a few clicks away.

I shared what I’m reading book-wise recently, but I thought it might be helpful to pass on what I read online, too. I’m not a huge social media fan, but, I do like Twitter. This is the primary place where I find articles to read online. You can follow me by going straight above and clicking on the “t.”

That said, I love to pass on resources that I’ve found helpful to my heart. And, funny story. I can be a little over zealous in podcast sharing, so I’ve been told. I learned that someone in my life wants me to only send *super good* podcasts, not every single one I listen to.  For the record, I wasn’t sending every single one, but there was a streak where many were causing many light bulbs to go on inside, and I wanted to share them! Can you blame a woman?!

So, at the risk of overloading you, I want to limit myself to 5 or less each week. There’s a lot out of good out there, but I want to help and not hinder your personal endeavors to steward your time well. And there’s a difference between constant input that leads to over-stimulation and slow input that allows room for meditation. I believe the latter is more beneficial.

Podcasts (you can check out my favorites, and when I listen to them):

Climb the Ladder of Integrity – The Emotionally Healthy Leader podcast. I would highly recommend listening to two episodes prior about integrity. All of this can be also be found and worked through in his book (highly recommended!). And, you can also download a helpful PDF.

Articles:

The Smallest Stage – “Jesus teaches us that there is a gloriously weighty presence and promise of the Father that we can access only in the smallest, secret place.”

Should I Stay or Should I Go – “When should an evangelical Christian separate from a church? That question is asked often these days, and it betrays more than one problem in contemporary Christianity. Far too many church members have become church shoppers. The biblical concept of ecclesiology has given way to a form of consumerism in which individuals shop around for the church that seems most to their liking at that moment.”

Give People Dignity the World Has Taken Away – “How many times had he stood authoritatively before a congregation to lead them in worship? Now he lay helpless in a hospital bed of his own making. How many people had looked up to him with respect and admiration? Now he was looked down upon with pity or contempt. How many divine truths had he boldly preached from the pulpit? Now his mouth was wired shut with only confessions leaking out in muddled whispers.”

Tending Your Garden – “If we overlay what we read in Genesis onto the dictionary definition, then one way to think about ministry is a person or agency through which image-bearing and disciple-making are accomplished within particular spaces.

“If I could go back and give myself a pep talk while in the midst of raising babies, I would clap my hands and say with great enthusiasm, “You are doing real ministry right now! Real ministry is not only ahead of you when you do a podcast or complete an in-depth line-by-line Bible study on the Minor Prophets. I know it feels like a lot of wiping, but you are bearing God’s image and raising children to bear his image. You are promoting life and doing good work in the space God ordained for you. And it matters.”

The post Resource Roundup appeared first on My Blog.

Last year, I began keeping a record of books I read out of sheer curiosity as to how much I read in a year. I read every day (handheld books, not audio or kindle), and across genres. I didn’t think I had a system until I started paying attention what and when I read.

It turns out that I generally read for 15-20 minutes in the morning after I’ve spent time with the Lord in prayer and in the Word, and at night, I read before I go to bed. I sometimes read during rest time. And, I had much more time to read when I was nursing.

I’m a fast reader, but not as fast as others! I want to slowly digest books that are deserving of thoughtful consideration, so I’m not in a race to see how many I can read. Some of the books I’ve included on my “finished” list I began reading last year.

I’m always in the middle of a few books, and have a stack of new books waiting for me. Night time reading in bed is generally fiction, with the occasional jaunt into non-fiction. My daytime reading is usually non-fiction.

In my lists below, I’m including read-aloud books I’m enjoying with my kids, because I am reading them after all. However, I’ll spare you the many picture books I’ll read, though it would surely add a great number to my list!

(Speaking of children’s books, I love to read them. Blane gives me a hard time when he sees me curled up with a good children’s book. In the last year, I’ve found that what I particularly appreciate about them is insight into an eight year old or ten year old’s head and heart. I cried when Ramona described how it felt to cuddle up to her Mommy!)

A quick note about how my book list develops. I listen to podcasts regularly, and I probably add one to two books to my list each week simply from recommendations within episodes. Apart from that, recommendations from friends are another main source for ideas.

My lists so far:

Completed in 2018:

1. The Emotionally Healthy Leader by Pete Scazzero – a must read for every believer, but especially for those in leadership of any capacity (including parenting!). The need for inner heart work, including understanding how our family of origin affects our heart and what comes out of it is so important. Learning to see what Scazzero calls our “shadow,” or what others may call blind spots, is also key. I think it would be a highly beneficial book for church, para-church, or any leadership group to slowly read and work through. It would be a great book study to go through with close, trusted friends who are willing to get a little messy with you. It’s not light and easy. I purposely took  several months to work through the book. Years ago, I read Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, and would recommend it, too.
2. Women’s Ministry in the Local Church by Ligon Duncan and Susan Hunt – this is a beautiful book written by a man and woman together, on what women’s ministry in the local church can and should look like, Scripturally speaking. I love the mutual honor, the acknowledgement of particular roles and gifts of men and women, and the desire for both to flourish.
3. Theology of My Life by John Frame – I have been slowly reading through Frame’s Systematic Theology book (see below), and have been so intrigued by his writing. I wanted to learn more about him. The forward in the book was probably the best I’ve ever read–inspiring, funny, honoring, profound, and several other descriptive words that make it the most unique one I’ve read. I am one of *those* people who reads every single page in a book, including the “about the author,” acknowledgements, forwards, etc.  Reading it only made my mouth water for more of what was to come. I appreciate the premise of the memoir,”in the ancient tradition of Ecclesiastes and old people appraising their lives for the edification of younger people” (p. IX). It was engaging. I laughed, was humbled, provoked to meditation about points he has made, and was further intrigued. In short, I want to get my hands on more writings of Frame. I think I’m drawn to him because I can relate to him– it’s hard to stuff him into a box.  He surprises you just when you think you have him figured out. His description of his conversion experience is one I especially appreciate, and have indeed book darted.
4. The Home Ranch by Ralph Moody – I read aloud daily to our kids as part of our “Bible Time” (in which a number of things are lumped in together). The Little Britches series has been enjoyed by all of us. This is book three in the series. See what we’re reading now below!
5. The Black Madonna by Davis Bunn – I love a good mystery, thriller, keep you on the edge of your seat book!
6. Spiritual Leadership by J. Oswald Chambers – I slowly worked my way through this book (this is one I began last year). It’s been on my shelf for years, and I finally read it. I found that it reinforced several lessons the Lord has taught me in the secret place of His school, and I pray He continues to teach me much of what Mr. Chambers wrote about. He is even now! I’ve heard many leaders say this book has been one of the most influential to them.
7. Adorned: Living Out the Beauty of the Gospel Together by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth – This is another that I started last year, but put aside for a bit. I’ll try not to gush too much over this book by a long-distance mentor of 20+ years. If you’re a woman of any age, read this book! We need each other. It’s essentially Titus 2 with commentary–and excellent commentary at that! My perspective about the need for younger women in my life was enhanced by Nancy. They have so much to offer me. Indeed, I have grown and been helped by the younger women in my life, and have tried to verbalize it to them much more. And, it was a wonderful reminder of the need for the older women the Lord has put in my life, and has led to reconnecting with mentors the Lord put in my life many years ago.
8. Mary Emma & Company by Ralph Moody – read aloud, number four in the Little Britches series. I do censor some of the language as I read these to my kids.
9. The Ultimate Girls Body Book: Not So Silly Questions About Your Body by Amaryllis Sanchez Wohlever, M.D. and Walt Larrimore, M.D. – Tara and I slowly worked our way through this book. It has helpful information, but I skipped several chapters that I feel are inappropriate for her age (10.5). I would cautiously recommend this book. Ask the Lord for wisdom and discernment as to what should be shared with your daughter, and when.
10. Escape from the Eagle’s Nest by A.L.O.E.
11. Myra Sherwood’s Cross by Lucy Ellen Guernsey
12. Daring to Drive: The Young Saudi Woman Who Stood Up to a Kingdom of Men by Manal Al-Sharif – this was a hard read about the reality of life for women in Saudi Arabia, and one woman’s courageous story in particular.
13. On the Edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness by Andrew Peterson – Please read this book series! Yes, it is for children, but there is a high likelihood that you’ll be inspired, convicted, and moved. You’ll also laugh out loud more than once. These books are a wonderful representation of what excellent Kingdom creativity can look like.
14. North! or Be Eaten by Andrew Peterson
15. Monster in the Hollows by Andrew Peterson
16. Warden and the Wolf King by Andrew Peterson
17. The Soul of Shame by Curt Thompson, MD – This is a fascinating, hard book to read, if you struggle with shame like I have. I highly recommend it because of the highly Biblical treatment Dr. Thompson gives on overcoming shame. It’s truly counter-cultural and freeing.
18. The Giant Killer – This is actually a dramatic audio, so I’m not sure it counts as a book. I’ll put it here anyway!
19. Capital Gaines – I loved this book! It was funny and inspiring. I read The Magnolia Story last year, and having somewhat of an entrepreneurial spirit, it made me look forward to reading this book. What surprised me though, was the theme of overcoming fear–it was helpful!

For real in-process:

What does “For real in-process” mean, you might wonder. Well, it means books I am actually reading daily, or almost daily. It doesn’t include the books I’ve started and then put to the side for the time being (there’s another list for those!). I do that sometimes when I’m having a hard time getting through it, or maybe more likely–my book hoarding ADD high-jacks me to a new book.

A note about my “in process” books. I’ve found it refreshing to be in the middle of a few books at once, as crazy as it sounds. I also sometimes need a break from heady books and dive into another world for a bit. I realize that this may quite possibly be categorized as a quirk. But who knows, maybe it’s healthy!

1. Nancy Drew: The Whispering Statue by Carolyn Keene – a blast from my past! Tara has asked me to read this to see if it’s okay for her to read. Did you grow up on Nancy Drew? I devoured them. I don’t remember how appropriate they are…
2. Peace Like a River by Leif Enger – my current fiction, highly recommended by several people I respect
   
3. When People Are Big and God is Small by Edward T. Welch
4. Choosing Gratitude: Your Journey to Joy by Nancy Wolgemuth
5. Practicing the Power: Welcoming the Gifts of the Holy Spirit In Your Life by Sam Storms
6. Herbert: Poems
7. Little Threads by Elizabeth Prentiss (if you’ve not read Stepping Heavenward by Prentiss, it’s a must read!) – I’m reading this to my little girls right now.
8. The Fields of Home by Ralph Moody – current read aloud with all my kids
9. Favorite Poems Old and New by Helen Farris – I started this book a few years ago with my kids. During the school year, we read three poems a day.
10. True Feelings: God’s Gracious and Glorious Purpose for our Emotions by Carolyn Mahaney and Nicole Whitacre – Tara and I are going through this book together.

Off to the side, in-process:

Some of these are reference books that I stop and start at different times. Still, I put them here to be forthright–I’ve not yet read them in their entirety. Little by little, I’ll get there!

1. Systematic Theology: And Introduction to Christian Belief by John Frame
2. The Excellent Wife: A Biblical Perspective by Martha Peace – I’ve heard of this book for over a decade, and finally read most of it. It’s good, but I’ve read many other books geared specifically toward wives that I may recommend first. Admittedly, it may be simply because I read the others first, and the Lord used them to shape my perspective before marriage and as a young wife.  Still, it’s worth reading. And I need to set aside some time to finish it!
3. Good & Angry: Redeeming Anger, Irritation, Complaining and Bitterness by David Powlison – So, if you’ve ever been angry, you should read this book. Highly convicting, helpful, and hopeful.
4. The Christian Counselor’s Manual by Jay Adams – I still have a little bit of this to go. I love this book, and it is a great reference for anyone interest in Biblical counseling.
5. Ben-Hur: A Tale of the Christ by Lew Wallace – In full disclosure, this may take me five years to get through. I’ve read a children’s version and watched the 2016 movie, and both provoked a desire to read the full book. I know I’m backwards in the normal process of intake, but the story is captivating. I daresay the 2016 movie received poorer reviews than the 1959 version, because it chose to focus on the redemptive piece of forgiveness, rather than revenge. After reading the reviews of both, I have no desire to watch the old version! The theme of forgiveness, I believe, it more true to the author’s original intention.
6. Martin Luther: The Man Who Rediscovered God and Changed the World by Eric Metaxes – I began this book last year, but set it aside because it required too much brain power for night time reading. Metaxes has grown as a writer since his Bonhoeffer book. He has some really good sentences (book darts!!!), and his wit has made me laugh out loud. It’s also been appalling to read of practices that took place in the church during the period of Luther’s life. Metaxes dispels common myths about Luther, and gives insight into who the man really was.
7. Resolving Conflict: How to Make, Resolve, and Keep Peace by Lou Priolo – Lou Priolo is an extremely engaging speaker, what with his New York accent and candid way of saying it like it is. A few months ago, I listened to a three part podcast in which he shared about his new book, which led to my purchase of it. It’s excellent, and I think a must-read for any person in relationship with another person.
8. Women of the Word: How to Study the Bible with Both Our Hearts and Our Minds by Jen Wilkin – A younger friend and I have been reading through this together, one chapter a week.
9. On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Nonfiction  by William Zinsser – there is yet hope for me as a writer!
10. Conscience: What It Is, How to Train It, and Loving Those Who Differ by Andrew David Naselli and JD Crowley
11. The Journal of Biblical Counseling – So maybe this doesn’t count as a book, but, it’s a regular reading resource. I received a subscription as a Christmas gift, and have enjoyed it.

Want to Reads (in no particular order, some I’ve already purchased):

And, a note about the books I want to read. I’m always adding to my list–literally, every week.  Inevitably, books pop up that catch my attention that I want to read, but had not planned to read…and I jump on them before the other books I already have in the line-up, or even in my physical stack. Kind of like my book dart problem, I have a bit of a book problem.  Also, I realize that my eyes are WAY bigger than my stomach. But, who knows what the Lord wants for me to accomplish.

1. Half the Church by Carolyn Custis James
2. Age of Opportunity by Paul Tripp – Blane is currently reading through this, and I’m looking forward to it as we are nearing the teen years. I think anything with Paul Tripp’s name on it is worthy of reading!
3. Building a Storybrand: Clarify Your Message So Customers Will Listen by Donald Miller
4. The Elements of Style by Strunk & White – it’s sitting on my shelf, just begging me to pick it up!
5. To Be Told: God Invites You to Coauthor Your Future by Dan Allender – I really appreciate Dan Allender’s ministry, and have a few of his books. The Cry of the Soul is one of my favorites.
6. Sex, Jesus, and the Conversations the Church Forgot by Mo Isom – I recently listened to an interview of The Happy Hour (episode 192) with Mo Isom. It was hard to listen to, but I think a vitally important message that we women need to be aware of and having conversations about. I was helped, and it made me want to read her book.
7. The Emotionally Healthy Woman by Geri Scazzero – I cannot recommend Pete & Geri Scazzero’s books enough!
8. 12 Years a Slave by Solomon Northup
9. Unexpected: Leave Fear Behind, Move Forward in Faith, Embrace the Adventure by Christine Caine – I didn’t know who Christine Caine was until recently. I’ve listened to a few interviews of her, and this woman is in love with God.
10. Just David by Eleanor H. Porter
11. Sticky Leaders: The Secret to Lasting Change and Innovation by Larry Osborne
12. Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising Connections between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices That Can Transform Your Life and Relationships by Curt Thompson, MD
13. Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done by Jon Acuff
14. Fear and Faith: Finding the Peace Your Heart Craves by Trillia Newbell
15. Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport
16. Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance by Angela Duckworth
17. New Morning Mercies by Paul Tripp
18. Word-Filled Women’s Ministry:  Loving and Serving the Church by Gloria Furman and Kathleen B. Nielson
19. This Day: Collected & New Poems by Wendell Berry
20. Storycraft: The Complete Guide to Writing Narrative Nonfiction by Jack Hart
21. On Writing by Stephen King – crazy as it sounds, I’ve heard countless people say this is the best book they’ve read on writing
22. Blame It On the Brain by Edward Welch
23. Making All Things New by David Powlison (I want to read anything by Powlison I can get my hands on!)
24. No Silver Bullets: Five Small Shifts That Will Transform Your Ministry by Daniel Im
25. How Does Sanctification Work? by David Powlison
26. Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer (I feel like I’ve already read this book due to the profuse amount of references to it that I’ve heard or read through the years)
27. None Like Him: 10 Ways God Is Different From Us (and Why That’s a Good Thing) by JenWilkin -the next book my friend and I will go through after Women of the Word
28. You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit by James K.A. Smith – I began this at some point during my pregnancy with Loraleigh, then set it aside. It seems appropriate to add it to my “to read” list again.
29. Messy, Beautiful Friendship: Finding and Nurturing Deep and Lasting Relationships by Christine Hoover – same note as above
30. Jessica’s Journey
31. Childhood Disrupted by Donna Jackson Nakasawa
32. How to Ruin Your Life and Starting Over When You Do by Eric Geiger
33. Unpacking Forgiveness: Biblical Answers to Complex Questions and Deep Wounds by Chris Braun
34. Families Where Grace Is in Place: Building a Home Free of Manipulation, Legalism, and Shame by Jeff VanVonderen
35. Awaiting the King: Reforming Public Theology by James K.A. Smith
36. The Doctrine of the Word of God by John Frame
37. The Doctrine of the Christian Life by John Frame
38. The Whole Christ: Legalism, Antinomianism, and Gospel Assurance–Why the Marrow Controversy Still Matters by Sinclair Ferguson
39. Papa’s Wife by Thyra Ferre Bjorn
40. Made for More: An Invitation to Live in God’s Image by Hannah Anderson
41. A Loving Life: In a World of Broken Relationships by Paul E. Miller
42. The Envy of Eve: Finding Contentment in a Covetous World by Melissa Kruger
43. How to Read the Bible for All It’s Worth by  Gordon Fee
44. Proverbs: Wisdom That Works by Ray Ortlund and R. Kent Hughes
45. What Did You Expect? Redeeming the Realities of Marriage by Paul David Tripp
46. 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You by Tony Reinke
47. Essential Oil Safety: A Guide for Health Care Professionals by Robert Tisserand and Rodney Young
48. Leading With a Limp: Take Full Advantage of Your Most Powerful Weakness by Dan Allender
49. The Emotionally Healthy Church: A Stretegy for Discipleship That Actually Changes Lives by Pete Scazzero
50. Wordsmithy: Hot Tips for the Writing Life by Doug Wilson
51. The Philosophy of the Christian Curriculum by Rousas John Rushdoony
52. God’s Plan for Victory: The Meaning of Postmillenialism by John Rousas Rushdoony
53. Relationships: A Mess Worth Making by Timothy Lane and Paul David Tripp
54. The Writer’s Diet: A Guide to Fit Prose by Helen Sword
55. Shaking the Nickel Bush by Ralph Moody – read aloud
56. Amnon’s Adventure : A Family Story for Easter by Arnold Ytreeide – read aloud to begin at Lent
57. Bartholomew’s Passage: A Family Story for Advent by Arnold Ytreeide – we read the first book of the series last year, and the kids loved it!
58. Ramona and Her Father by Beverly Cleary – just as a disclaimer, I’ve censored these as I read them aloud for my kids. But who says I’m putting these on my list to read to them?
59. Ramona and Her Mother by Beverly Cleary
60. Ramona the Pest by Beverly Cleary
61. Beezus and Ramona by Beverly Cleary
62. The Green Ember Series by S.D. Smith – the kids love these, and have both written and received letters from Mr. Smith several times. There is another book due out in the series, and they received another, The Last Archer, for Christmas.
63. If cookbooks count, Danielle Walker’s new one that comes out in August is on the list
64. David & Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants by Malcolm Gladwell – Blane recently read this book and said I’d really enjoy it. Can’t wait!
65. Outliers: The Story of Success by Malcolm Gladwell
66. Safely Home by Randy Alcorn – I may have read this just after college because a dear friend was a missionary in China with her husband. But, I don’t remember…
67. Normal Kingdom Business: A Collection of Essays by Andree Seu – She wrote the forward in John Frame’s memoir, and I loved her writing.

What books are you reading, and what do you recommend? I’m always on the lookout for a good book.

*Some of these books do contain Amazon affiliate links

The post Books I’m Reading in 2018 appeared first on My Blog.

Upon the first visit to my OB/GYN, she was concerned. She did an ultrasound and then sent me for a CT scan. She told me she suspected it was a rare form of cancer that usually presents in women in their 50s. I was 24. We’d been married 15 months. All these years later, I understand that often times the Lord will allow moments of crisis to enable us to see what we were blind to before. Through this trial, the Lord mercifully exposed the seriousness of my sin regarding almost obsessively watching my food intake and weight, and the Lord revealed presumption in both of our hearts regarding children. Let me explain.

When we were engaged, we talked and dreamed about having a large family one day. We believed children were a gift from the Lord and wanted to welcome them. We didn’t have a set number in mind. As we prepared for marriage, we discussed finances and decided that since I had school debt to pay off, I should work full time. Blane was in med school full time, with a small Army stipend. We could have lived off of that and been happy. Blane wanted to make it work, so I could stay at home and be a wife, like I desired. But, I have always had a huge vision for hospitality, and I couldn’t conceive, even temporarily, living in a place that we couldn’t regularly host people. So instead of seeing and understanding the wisdom in temporarily setting aside my desires with a mindset toward the future, I pushed. And, Blane ultimately allowed me what I wanted. But it meant I had to work full-time so that we could afford to lead the lifestyle I so desired.  I began working full-time at a job I didn’t enjoy because the purpose and role I was fulfilling at my job wasn’t what I believed the Lord had primarily called me to, that of being a wife. I began to see the folly of my ways. My husband had wanted me to enjoy what I ultimately desired: the role of a wife at home.

This also meant postponing children until Blane was out of school. When he graduated, I’d be done working, and we’d start a family. What we failed to see was the presumption in our hearts towards the Lord. Yes, we believed children were a gift, but we didn’t “trust in the Lord with all [our] hearts, lean not on [our] own understanding. In all [our] ways acknowledge Him…” (Pr 3:5-6). We failed to ask the Lord what He wanted for our family. We knew we wanted to get out of debt; He never speaks well of it in Scripture. But we chose to go about it in our own way, following “conventional” wisdom, rather than Biblical wisdom, which always begins with seeking the Lord through prayer, alongside the Word.

Just prior to the diagnosis I received, the Lord convicted my heart through several conversations I’d had with a friend about the topic of children. As soon as we were married, I wanted to have kids. I felt how unnatural it was to purposefully prevent children, and to push the desire out of my mind for the time being. It bothered me from the get-go. But it wasn’t until my friend and I began talking through what Scripture says, not just about children, but about yielding this area of life to Him, that I realized I hadn’t. When I took this new conviction the Lord developed in my heart to Blane, he wasn’t quite ready to change his perspective. So, I remained quiet and sought the Lord about it.

Then the diagnosis came. During the month of October, the Lord tenderly cared for us. It was not an overly emotional time. We both were committed to the Lord, believed He was sovereign and faithful, and we knew that we would be carried by Him, no matter the outcome. We were prepared to walk whatever path He was leading us down, because we believed He was our Good Shepherd. It was a sweet time of continuing to grow in intimacy together, as well as with the Lord.

This season was also a time of repentance for us.  The jolting news and tumultuous days were used by God to bring gracious conviction and a turning from sin as Blane gained understanding of his presumption and I saw more clearly the pride and fear of man that fueled my obsessive eating habits. We sought the Lord, went to our elders for prayer (James 5:14), and invited many near and far into prayer with us. After an exhausting month with some back and forth because of a changed diagnosis, I received a phone call on Thursday, November 3. It was the oncologist that I’d not seen in a few weeks. He called because the last scan caused the radiologist to change the diagnosis back to the original: cancer. He’d referred me to the endocrinologist, who gave me a different diagnosis (I don’t remember what it was without digging for my charts). The endocrinologist’s plan was to put me into menopause for a few months and cut out part of my uterus.  He told me I wouldn’t be able to have children. He ordered one last scan (I had all of the different types you can list!). When the radiologist looked at it, he called both the endocrinologist and the oncologist to come look at it. He believed it was the cancer that my OB originally suspected. So, on the phone was the oncologist telling me it was cancer after all, and that he’d scheduled me OR time for the following Tuesday. He wanted us to come in the next day to discuss the surgery.

Blane and I met with the oncologist the next day, Friday. He told us that he and the endocrinologist would work together during surgery. If the tumor was clearly cancerous, they’d remove both it and my uterus. If they were unsure, they’d remove the tumor and do a frozen section biopsy. If that revealed a benign tumor, they’d leave my uterus. They’d send the tumor for a regular biopsy, and if it found the tumor was indeed malignant, they’d go back in and remove my uterus. I wouldn’t know the outcome until after surgery.

We had a wonderful weekend traveling to a conference where a time of prayer was held for me. We both encountered the Lord separately, and He continued to give us a deep-seated peace that allowed us to go into surgery steadfast and hopeful.

Fast forward to Tuesday, November 8. After doing a complete pre-op bowel cleanse (that was fun!), I went in for surgery early Tuesday morning. I remember crying when the oncologist came to talk with me while we were waiting for the anesthesiologist. Surprisingly, I was more scared of the anesthesia! To this day, we remain so grateful for the very personal care we given, particularly by the oncologist. When going through such a momentous experience, you bond with those caring for you, even if in some small way. He was very gentle and comforting.

I remember telling Blane that I wanted him as my husband to be the one to tell me the outcome of the surgery, not anyone else. I drifted into la-la land while Blane waited.

I remember waking up, which is the absolute worst part of anesthesia in my opinion. As an aside, I would totally be a top tier candidate for the You Tube videos that we so enjoy – videos of other people suffering hilariously after waking from anesthesia. I remember some of the things I said and did, and I would be very embarrassed if it weren’t for the fact that it’s just funny. Anyway, in the recovery area, they called Blane on the phone somewhere else in the hospital, and I asked him if I could still have kids. I’m crying as I type this, because to my relief, he said yes. They did not remove my uterus. I was so excited! And while I thought I was quite exclamatory, Blane assures me that I was heavily drugged and therefore extremely mellow about it. I do remember speaking to one of my brother-in-laws, in my extremely morphine-happy, loopy, post-surgical state, crying that I could have children.

As soon as I was able to see the doctors, I asked them again about having children. To my delight and surprise, they said I should be able to have children as if nothing ever happened. They wanted me to allow three months for my body to recover. I forgot to mention that the tumor proved to be a benign fibroid, weighed 8-10 pounds, and was the size of a small watermelon.

We were overjoyed, and knew that we would accept children whenever the Lord would desire to open my womb. We began living out what we claimed we believed before the surgery—that the Lord is the One who opens and closes the womb, when He pleases.

This leads me to address questions we began receiving from those closest to us who knew of our changed hearts. “Are you going to try to have as many kids as you can? What if you have 15 children?” Inherently in these questions is the assumption that we could ultimately control the womb or that children would cease to be a blessing and become a curse at some nebulous number. Just as the Lord has ordained and numbered our days, He has ordained the number of children we’ll have. We believed that if the Lord desired, He could give us 15 children. But we also believed that He could give us any number—1, 2, 3—however many He desired. We decided that we wanted to end our presumptuous actions and stop trying to control something that ultimately was out of our hands.

We’ve now been married for over 12 years. It’s nearly 11 years ago that I had my surgery. 13 months after my surgery, we found out I was pregnant with our first child. It was a very emotional time for me. I went through many months of deeply struggling to believe that my body would ever be normal again after the fibroid was removed. It was taking a very long time, longer than I expected, to regulate itself. I had a difficult pregnancy, but in the end, the Lord gave us a beautiful baby girl.

Two years later, we had our second child, a boy. Then, we experienced two miscarriages. We were given the privilege to steward these beautiful lives for only a short time.  Then we conceived again and had another girl three years after our son was born. We had another miscarriage two and a half years ago, and this time it was a later miscarriage. It was much harder than the first two for various reasons. We did end up conceiving again following the third miscarriage, and our fourth child was born 9 months later.

I’m so thankful to share with you that we are now expecting our fifth child in April 2017. We do not take this precious little life for granted. We were once told that we’d never have children and have lost three babies. I have been pregnant eight times—each a miracle in and of itself. I have friends who could not conceive for years, and I know others who still have yet to conceive, even in their late 30s. We know people who have lost babies at 39 weeks, at 20 weeks, and after birth. Life is fragile, precious, and given by God.

Our story so far is not that we have 15 children. I will be 36 when this baby is born. If the Lord desires, we may have more children. But we don’t know. The Lord may not allow us to conceive anymore. I also won’t lie and tell you that I love being pregnant. I don’t. These pregnancies have been some of the most challenging seasons in life. I am sick into the second trimester and live in near-constant pain starting towards the end of second trimester until delivery. There is always a part of me that doesn’t want to be pregnant again, not because I don’t love children, but because of the very challenging trial that comes with it. But ultimately, we want to rest in the safe leadership of our Lord – it’s the best place to be. We are open to His leadership wherever it leads us.

I have also had to fight fear and anxiety more with each pregnancy because of the previous losses and all the possibilities of things that could go wrong with the health of the baby at any point. But what I learn more deeply each time is that the Lord keeps me from giving into the temptation of fear and anxiety as I seek Him. He has been faithful to keep His Word that when I commit my way to Him, He will do it (Psalm 37:5). Regardless of the outcome of the pregnancy or the baby’s health, He is good, and He will faithfully enable us to live each day to His glory. I want to have a heart that fights to remain faithful and steady before Him, trusting Him, and resting in His sovereign care.

Can I share one more sweet detail that demonstrates the Fatherly love of God? 14 months ago, August of 2016, we learned that my dad had stage IV brain cancer. On November 2 last year (today), he went to be with Jesus. His birthday is in April. This year, we learned of this little life in August, will (Lord willing) learn the gender later this month, and (Lord willing) the baby will be born very near to my dad’s birthday. Only the Lord can plan and carry out something so detailed. Each moment, laden with grief to process, will be mingled with a sweet gift of consolation – life to celebrate as a loss is grieved. He is good.

The Lord is a tender, loving Father who desires the best for us. When we lean into His heart, desiring to know Him and see Him glorified more than anything else, we will joyfully walk down whatever path He asks us to go down. It may take some wrestling, but if we let Him win our heart, the life we experience far surpasses what we think we know to be best and life-giving. I hope that in some way, others can glean from our story. The Lord is in the business of redeeming life from the ashes, and I’m so thankful for the story He’s been writing with our lives.

This is the Lord’s doing; it is marvelous in our eyes.

Psalm118:23

The post A Testimony of Life in Lieu of Loss appeared first on My Blog.

1. If you’re married, you have the opportunity to more easily bless your family with a joyful, peaceful wife and mom by choosing to plan ahead of time.  Planning often helps by eliminating potentially stressful moments close to dinner time when you might otherwise be frantically trying to pull together a last minute meal.

2. Meal planning, and what comes with it (grocery planning and budgeting), is an area in which you can richly bless your current OR future husband. Proverbs 31:11-12 speaks of a man who deeply trusts his wife because she does him good all the days of his life. Meal planning usually helps save money, and what man isn’t going to love a woman who wants to help steward their finances well? And, single ladies, this is the perfect time to begin learning.

3. Meal planning opens the door for more generous hospitality. By planning ahead, you can budget your money accordingly if you know a family of 7 is coming to share a meal with you. Or, you can be prepared to take a meal to a family that recently had a baby because you have a few extra meals in the freezer. At our church, we have pot luck on the first Sunday of each month. I like to make a real meal rather than buying one, because it allows me an opportunity to pray for the people with whom I’ll be sharing it, and the fellowship we’ll enjoy over it. By planning ahead, I really can do that while I’m preparing the meal. Time and thought goes into each meal.

4. When you plan your menu, you can build in days when you double or triple a recipe for the freezer. It’s so easy!

Those are just a few reasons, and I’m sure I could keep on going. I began meal planning before I had kids, and it has evolved over the years. I’ll share how I do it now, but feel freedom to tweak it and find what works best for you, your family, and your budget. Just like many other things in life, it’s bound to look different in different seasons of life. Flexibility is key. And, be sure to let me know if you have questions or any comments. I love to hear them.

Meal Planning Step 1

I like to plan my menu by the month. I know it might sound overwhelming, but I find it so much easier because I only have to do it once. I will show you why I think it’s actually easier than weekly menu planning (I have done weekly, two-weeks, and monthly). I like to sit down towards the end of a month, maybe a week away, to plan for the next month.

I first create a calendar in Publisher. I choose the “understated” calendar, which is nothing fancy. No need to complicate the process. Although, we girls like pretty, so you can fancy it up any way you choose. You can either print the calendar to write in your meals, or do it on your computer. I used to print and fill it in, but now I do it on the computer first, and print later.

When I first started monthly planning, I heard someone from somewhere suggest having a theme for each day that is the same for each week. Here’s what I mean:

Sundays: snacks or leftovers

Mondays: beef

Tuesdays: chicken

Wednesdays: smoothies & muffins

Thursdays: Salad (summer) or Soup and muffins (winter)

Friday: Vegetarian

Saturday: Beans

That’s my boring plan. Some people get crazy and have “Mexican Monday,” or other fun themes like that. For me, it’s just easy to keep it simple.

I don’t need to do this now, but when I first started, I wrote my themes across the top of each day so I had guidance.

Save this as a “Blank Menu Template.” That way, each month, you can put a new month at the top, and new dates across the calendar. It takes less than a minute to do. I have a “Menu Planning” folder on my desktop that I keep a blank menu template, and all the menus I’ve created.

Meal Planning Step 2

Pull out those recipes!  Here’s where you can really complicate or really simplify the process. This part can take forever, or it can take 15 minutes. I would recommend starting with recipes you know your family loves. Then, move onto those new cookbook, Pinterest, or bookmarked recipes online.

I systematically go through each day (all the Mondays first, etc.) and then move onto the next day/category. I have simplified Sundays and Wednesdays, so I don’t spend any time looking for recipes. I know what snacks I usually do, and I know how to throw a smoothie together. So, I really only need to plan five meals for the week.

It’s so easy to open my cookbook that has a collection of recipes to the “beef” section and pick four beef recipes, for example. This is how I categorize recipes I see on Pinterest, also. I make it a tool that aides in menu planning, rather than something I have to wade through to find “that” recipe. And, I try to only save recipes I would realistically make. 

If you don’t want to create a whole month of original meals, plan for two weeks and repeat the menu! I used to do this a lot, and depending on the season of life I’m in, I sometimes return to it.

Save this menu plan into your menu planning folder. You will quickly accumulate a few months of menu plans. Then, you can either continue to plan monthly or rotate the menus you’ve already took the time to complete.

Now, you can combine the next step with this one, or do it after you have your meal plan set.

Meal Planning Step 3

I usually fill out a blank grocery list while I’m planning my menu. I do this because it helps prevent forgetting a needed item, because I can’t run out at the last minute to grab something I forgot. I live an hour from my ideal grocery store! It also saves from spending unnecessary money because I will often end up picking up more than that one thing I needed!

So, you will need a list for each time you visit the grocery store. This might be when you realize you run into the store too many times! Start by stacking four lists (one for each week) and go through each week’s menu. What do you need? A bunch of green onions? A can of tomatoes? Write every ingredient down that you know you don’t have–check your pantry or freezer to make sure! Now, your grocery list is ready for whenever you head to the store.

Now, I mentioned that I live an hour away from my ideal grocery store. I order once a month from an online co-op, Azure Standard, twice a month from a produce co-op, and maybe twice a month will swing by Trader Joe’s for odds and ends after church. I rarely go to the store for groceries anymore. It’s wonderful! But, it requires thought and planning.  I make my list the same way and then order from each place accordingly.

Meal Planning Step 4

Stick to your plan. This is when you need to make sure you have chosen meals you and your family love. But, here’s the beauty of a meal plan: flexibility.  What if the meal you have planned for Tuesday doesn’t sound appealing that day? Swap it with Wednesday’s, because you already have everything you need to make it! Ironically, planning offers a lot of room for changing things up spontaneously.

Freezer Cooking Tips

What I typically do, especially a few months before having a baby, is choose meals in my menu plan that we really like. I will freeze just about anything, so trust me that just about everything will do. I put a x2 or x3 next to the meals I’m planning to freeze. Be sure to note this on your grocery list. I froze 40 meals for life after my first baby, and 52 for life after my second. Simply by doubling or tripling over a 3-4 month time span. I was not superwoman, I just planned.

Then, on the night you wrote x2 or x3, just double or triple the recipe. It requires minimal extra effort, and yields a bounty. Make sure you clearly label and date your meal before putting it in the freezer.

What About Budgets?

I highly recommend you keep a budget if you don’t currently (is this a topic of interest to blog about?). But, you don’t need a massive budget to plan this way. I personally don’t have an exorbitant amount of money for food, but I also have more freedom than I did in our earlier years of marriage.  Every family is going to have different allotments, so you need to do the best with what you’ve got. The key is to stay within your budget! It’s a helpful boundary.

It may mean you don’t freeze as many meals in a month as you’d like, or you keep your meals simple. You noticed that right now, my family only eats meat twice a week. I think this is normal, but you might think it’s crazy! It’s what works for our budget. We can’t afford to eat meat four times a week, and my husband is very willing and enjoys beans and other yummy recipes that don’t have meat.

Look to the Ant

Proverbs 6:6-11 exhorts us to look to the ways of the ant. The ant is busy storing up food, looking to the future. Contrasted is the sluggard who does not have an eye to the future at all. Now, don’t hear me saying that if you don’t menu plan, you’re not working hard. But, look to the ant! The point is that the hard working, future-oriented ant has a plentiful harvest, while the sluggard is impoverished. Menu planning is a practice, a discipline that yields much fruit in the present and the future. Not only can you wind up with several freezer meals, but you’ll save time and money in the process.  It does take time and effort, but, from experience, it’s very much worth every minute spent! You will get faster and more efficient the longer you do it. Don’t give up if it seems hard in the beginning!

I have found menu planning to be a helpful tool in managing my home. I don’t experience as much stress over meals, and can enjoy the fruit of my labor later by freezing meals. I highly recommend it!

Do you have any questions? There are no silly ones, so feel free to ask anything! I’m happy to help.

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